Sailing Into Yourself

Feelings are like sails.
Sails that catch the wind of spirit
and are driven into strange shapes.
Sometimes billowing and taut and clean of form
then at other times broken and caught in the shifting
gusts
of disharmony and the rage of storms.

Thoughts do not drive feelings.
Thoughts drive the shape of feelings.
God is feeling us and we Her all the time.
Like two lovers we are always touching each other,
and like two lovers
we are driven by our separate thoughts
as to how we are living this experience --- this
touching.

Sit with your feelings.
Ride the horse of your feelings.
Forget about who is controlling who
and just enter into them and love yourself
even though you are bored, or feeling the mud
of a thousand empty days pressing upon you.

Just stay like a bowl upturned in the desert
waiting for some rain
and not wanting to be wet, but dry and just this waiting.
Not wanting. Just waiting in the waiting.
Just this endless and shifting feeling
being all that is good enough for this moment.

One day the sand will all fall through your open mouth
and the ocean of God's feeling
will drown you and raise you
and you will have survived yourself.
You will have emerged inside Her heart.