Art by Norman E. Masters
Dearest Stranger ~~
Sunday July 10, 1985
AnDSO on; always
I wait too,long,yawn.
What do I think -Of Pete?
Pete, I always see a child,
trusting,
trying to please.
Be Good Kathleen! /Pete's mirror?
With a ferocity,I exercise.
for fear
because tomorrowwouldnevercome.
with depth....
...The glorious high
not a rise.
SAY IT TO YOURSELF/MYSELF/OURSELF:::: :I allow you to paint chaos.
I allow you to paint my chaos.
Chaos (ritual-freedom) Pete / Kathleen
They each want to take credit
for the creativity; but I sign my
name....
...Kathleen - but, But I had
thought I had suspended
that hope/aspect
of my being.
- to stop being a man!
to stop being a man;
but that is what I am!
Why did you come into my conscious life Kathleen?
purpose:direction?
on porpoise?
I have to stop myself as a man?
bored.
knock on.
Ah just gotta swim into the chaos and reach The Great Goddess.
UOOOOoooo
Selective Perfection
'tis sinful to
like myself.
Why can't I risk the feminine? The masculine?
transform me, suffuse the male,
The feminine within plays with the male,
gearing it down, puzzling it out,
stretching,
selective perfection.
Shame, shame, you've got a girl's name.
****************
Creativity.
Penetration through the ear -the Western Way.
Penetration through the navel -the Eastern Way.
pure virginal male; himself a union.
Cobalt / radio
active
ated
Sun Screen
o eam
As if one is
three of life.
While on the edge, if I step on a wedge: gone?
HI Heels.
selective perfection.
Great Goddess Of All Creation,
Penetrate me with your femininity,
so that I may give birth to
the child/children of
our creativity.
***************
TODAY,right now January 31, 1986
<...>
And now you know.<...>
In March,1982 I legally changed my name to Kathleen Lynn Noel-Ligeski;
I like women so much, that I wanted a female name. I am not gay. I have
never been on a date.I thought that I could become a girl...I became
too afraid to try any more.(That was four years ago). During the last
year,I have been going to counseling and I have decided to again legally
change my first name to Peter but keep Kathleen as a middle name.For
four years I was Kathleen but looked like Pete! Hopefully, I will be
able to balance the masculine and feminine elements of my personality?
*************
I have
always been alone.
*************
......from back when : 10-18-81
"Dearest:::::::,
stranger,
I don't know how to flirt!
What's loneliness ?
I don't know.
Come back!
Come Back!
Where are they going?
All the leaves are running away from me....
...left me alone....
I'll remember them;
Nope, Iwon't
I never learn my lesson.
Hi Ya ! My name is Peter
(umm...also Kathleen....)
Wanna be friends ?
No ?
No.
How lucky I am to be friendless....
no one to bring to my apartment;
no one to go to movies with;
no one to go shopping with;
no one to be watching the leaves play;
no one to touch;
no one to kiss;
no one to shake hands with.
No one to be with.
Oh! It's begin ing to rain....
no one to name raindrops with.... |
